Position: Stay at home Parent

Role:

The purpose of this role is to provide 24/7 care to your children, which will cover all aspects of physical, mental, emotional, social and cognitive development. This particular role requires high levels of flexibility, patience and quick-thinking.

Key duties associated with this role: 

  • Deal with all nutritional requirements for your children, to include meal planning, shopping and food preparation. May also serve in the role of dietitian and deal with difficult children’s particular meal requests e.g. I don’t like carrots anymore.
  • Undertake all laundry to be completed in the household. Washing and drying essential, ironing not required.
  • Have a responsibility for the personal care of your children to include, dressing, washing, changing of nappies/potty training, nail and hair care.
  • To implement a comprehensive physical education programme on a daily basis compromising activities directed towards “wearing them out”.
  • Develop a social skills programme to ensure the children becoming functioning members of society and abstain from biting, hitting or pushing other members of toddler groups.
  • Deal with all emotional requirements for hugs, kisses and requests to be carried. Must also be capable of dealing with emotional meltdowns and tantrums, most often occurring in public places when you bump into a friend of your mothers.
  • Implement an extensive educational programme that goes beyond turning on Dora the Explorer and telling yourself they are learning Spanish. This programme should include badly constructed crafts, and lots of time spent on the floor doing jigsaws/colouring/playing house and extends to singing nursery rhymes in the car and bedtime stories.

Criteria for Applicants: 

  • All applications should have given birth to, sired, adopted or fostered a child/children.

We offer: 

  • A dynamic working environment. Never-ending entertainment and total devotion (n.b. not always evident but always present)
  • Ongoing opportunities for learning and development
  • The opportunity to employ a part time co-worker of your choice.
  • The lucky position of watching your child/children grow and develop on a daily basis.

*Full nights sleep, hot cups of coffee/tea, using the toilet alone and showering daily are not guaranteed.

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11 thoughts on “Position: Stay at home Parent

  1. Lol too true! There’s a youtube clip out there where they interview people via skype for the position of mother not telling them what the position is but describing it like you did, very funny and to cut a long story short everyone is initially appalled by the working requirements and conditions!!

    Like

  2. lol so well written! See we all need to read the fine print before lol What a great post to read and funny too 🙂 Thank you for linking on #wineandboobs

    Like

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