Kindness

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I consider myself to be kind, I look out for others, I help them, I listen to them and I champion them. When I was thinking this year about plans and resolutions I read something online, on the Daily Mail.

Firstly, ok you got me, reading the Daily Mail online is a guilty pleasure of mine. The headlines alone are massively entertaining. This time however I read the article, and a line in it got me thinking.

“In 1973, a Scottish welder named Sydney Banks was living and working in British Columbia. He was struggling in his marriage and insecure in his life.

In the middle of a weekend encounter group, a psychotherapist said to him: ‘You’re not insecure, Syd, you just think you are.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2890698/How-make-2015-happiest-year-PAUL-McKENNA-S-life-changing-series.html#ixzz3Nhj0u2gt
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By giving yourself a label of “insecure” in a way you make it so. You tell yourself internally that you are insecure, you act in a way that reinforces your insecurity to yourself.

This thought is incredibly freeing if you think about it. If you can cause yourself to be insecure by thinking of yourself as an “insecure person”, then how about flipping it and making it a positive. I made myself a new years resolution. To be kind to myself, to tell myself that I am all the things that I want to be; I am kind and attractive and fun and a good mother.

I tend to worry a lot. I worry that I’m not doing my best, I worry about how others view me, I worry about the future and the past. I am also, having thought about it, unkind to myself. I call myself unkind things, I tell myself I’m not worth it, that I’m not good enough, things that I would not say to someone else. I deny myself things, I tell myself I’m not worth it, that the money should go on the children, that my time should be spent with them and not on myself.

This is not doing me any good. It is not doing my children any good and it is not doing my husband any good.

So this year 2015 I am being kind to myself. I don’t mean that I am going off on foreign holidays and having spa breaks every weekend but I am going to continually remind myself to treat myself kindly.

On day two of my kindness journey so far I have;

  • Drank a glass of wine without worrying that it was my third day to have done so.
  • Got my haircut (for the first time since last Feb) and accepted a latte in the hairdressers (this probably sounds strange but I usually refuse one because I’d be putting the hairdresser out by having to go and get me one)
  • Didn’t berate myself for putting on the telly this morning when the babies were out of sorts and I was tired.
  • Wore what I felt like wearing without telling myself it showed off my baby belly.
  • Counteracted each negative thought I have had by repeating “be kind to yourself”

Now it might all sound like mumbo jumbo nonsense but so for I have felt both calmer and happier. I’m finally treating myself with the kindness that I usually reserve for others.

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4 thoughts on “Kindness

  1. I love this. I do exactly the same things! Especially, more than anything, about being a mammy. I beat myself up every single day thinking im not doing a good enough job. I also worry about what people think of me, or how i came across after a conversation… ugh… pointless. I’m going to try this too 🙂

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    1. Ha! I’m delighted, I seriously think everyone should try it, because honestly the only person living your life is you so why should we spend all of it stressing about other people and how we appear to them?? I feel much better for it already 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Firstly as a hairdresser of ten years until feb 2014 I can say the latte thing… You are never putting anyone out. We are there to treat you, make you feel special. Ask for a second, third, forth. Just don’t say ‘i want be a new woman’ with a trim lol.
    Secondly fair play, look after yourself. Us mammies need extra time to ourselves. Don’t beat yourself up. We work too bloody hard not to enjoy a glass of wine a third day in a row!!!

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    1. Thank you, I’m really feeling good about it so far, I’m just not letting any unkind thoughts in. It’s surprisingly effective! So glad you said that it’s not putting anyone out cause it does make me feel a bit guilty! I am so boring with my hair, I just say leave it long enough so I can still tie it up if I need to and leave the rest in their hands!

      Liked by 1 person

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