At the moment it is being called a threatened miscarraige. I started bleeding on Tuesday. I’m only five weeks. Next week we are to take another pregnancy test to see if baby has somehow, miraculously, managed to stay with me and then get a scan to see whats going on inside. I haven’t stopped crying.
I know that this is a tiny baby. I know that we only knew for a few weeks but I had already fitted this baby into our family. I had envisioned the crib back beside my bed. I had gotten excited about telling everyone at Christmas time. I had imagined a brother or sister for my girls, imagined them all growing up together.
We haven’t told anyone about the baby so I can’t talk to anyone about this either. I want to tell my Mum but don’t really know if it is fair to upset someone else over this. I know she would worry and next week seems like a long way away before we really know what is going on. And so you, cyperspace, will know about it. So at least I can say, yes there was a baby. A teeny tiny lentil baby.